Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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