You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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