Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
