I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
