took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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