Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She's the barista slut.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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