when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
