My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
