come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
