you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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