OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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