I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
