Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
