I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
