Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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