maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
