no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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