tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
