did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's Friday. Sex?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
