Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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