Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
