Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
