I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize