ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
