i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize