How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
