Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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