I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
