i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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