i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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