In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
