I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize