And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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