Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
