It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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