I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
