LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
There was a lot of him and a little penis
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
