OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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