Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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