why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
