this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize