U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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