You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
