making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My bed smells like the plague
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
