i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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