Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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