Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
