omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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