Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
