just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
