I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
