chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
