so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
