marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
