yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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