She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
