Already got asked if we're dating
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
