12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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